Mars/Venus Coach
kitstapely.com
Mars/Venus Fairy Godmother
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Why I Do What I Do!

If your life keeps presenting you with problems and setbacks you’ve come to the right place.

As Shakespeare observed about 500 years ago, “There’s a force that guides our Destiny rough hew it how we will.”  And the force that guides my destiny had ideas of its own and performed a bit of a U-Turn from where I thought I was going!

I thought I was cut out to be a sophisticated and glamorous femme fatale so I certainly didn’t set out to help others to get what they really wanted out of their lives. Growing up was a struggle for me and I wanted my life as an adult to be rich, glamorous and rather bohemian. Those were my dreams however unlikely they seemed.  I didn’t specify that I wanted to live in New York but when I fell in love with a gorgeous New Yorker who adored me and wanted to give me the world, the moon and the stars I didn’t hesitate and followed where love led me.

At that time in my life I didn’t yet know that you create your life by your thoughts as surely as if your thoughts were paint that you were using to paint a picture. Your thoughts create your reality and the reality I had created was more wonderful and glamorous than I’d dreamed.  But as the years went by I found I wanted more – and less. That was confusing.

Because, I now realise, my thoughts were confused I created a very confusing reality. When I was 40 I was diagnosed with incurable but treatable cancer. After five years dominated by terrible treatments for multiple relapses my two oncologists informed my husband and me that I was out of treatment options and one promised me he wouldn’t let me suffer.

While almost everyone I knew ‘bought in’ to the dramatic tragedy that was unfolding, I decided that I wanted a miracle. I knew that I wasn’t ready to go and chose not to die of incurable, aggressive cancer and started to figure out how to LIVE. So began the miracle stage of my life and I was drawn into studying the science and methods behind the miracles that show up in my life on a regular basis.  I promise you that its not just me that gets regular miracles.  We all do but, sadly, it’s not on any school curriculum.

My life turned out to be one of offering my discoveries to others who desperately needed answers.  My life today, many years beyond the pessimistic diagnosis of that time, is living proof of the most profound miracle for which I am so grateful.


I am an autodidact which is a fancy way of saying that I got my education from life and from books because nothing I was ever taught at school was of any real use to me in my life. Look on my Recommended Reading page to find some of the key books that taught me what I needed to know to build a solid foundation under my ‘castles in the air’ and create the life of my dreams

An Anatomy of an Illness by Norman Cousins
The Secret Science Behind The Miracles by Max Freedom Long
Peace Love and Healing by Bernie S. Siegel M.D.
You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L Hay
Several of John Gray’s Mars Venus books including:
Men Are From Mars and Wonen Are From Venus,
Mars and Venus Starting Over,
Mars and Venus On A Date
Mars and Venus in the Bedroom
7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

These books and loads of others taught me about how life really works and building on this knowledge I trained first to be a Laughter Therapist, then a Heal Your Life teacher and finally a Health Creation Mentor working primarily with clients on the cancer trail.

“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me!”

Now, after 17 years of working with cancer clients and staying on top of my own additional cancer forays it became clear to me that it was time for me to turn my efforts towards prevention. In my work with cancer patients there was always a difficult relationship component.  Much of it hinged on the failures of communication between the sexes and I could see that the the pain of that was leading to the destruction of relationships that had everything they needed to evolve into strong and nourishing unions.

So I also trained to be a Mars Venus Coach to enable myself to help to build the strong, nourishing relationships that provide a bedrock of joy and cooperation in the lives of you my clients.

And where do such relationships start?  Dating!

Many of the flaws that occur in relationships develop because the dating process is mismanaged. Dating, the foundation of every partner relationship, has five distinct stages to reaching the commitment stage. Since we are mostly ignorant of these five stages it is common to make fundamental mistakes at the beginning of what could be a very happy, successful and mutually nourishing union.

Want to find out about these five stages and their hidden pitfalls? Email Kit now to book your place on one of her 5 Stages of Dating workshops to explore if your dating experience could benefit from some time and attention.