The relief was amazing because, as you may have read, I was in full grip of the Dreads of Check Up Syndrome. I could think of every reason in the world that it would have come back and very few that supported the positive hypothesis. I refuse to meet trouble halfway so I had resolutely refused to entertain those thoughts and had occupied my days with happy and satisfying busy-ness so that every moment was a memory to be cherished and not reviled. But the facts remained. I had taken myself of the anti-oestrogen medication, Letrozol, in May because the side effects were ruining my quality of life. My hard-won experience has taught me to focus on Life and Health and that is what I do, to the best of my ability.
This time the release of the inevitable tension took the form of endless yawning and as Simon drove us home I succumbed to irresistible sleep. Once home I had a cup of tea, left Simon to forage some supper for himself and went to bed. I was asleep in less than 20 minutes.
In the morning I felt miles better but began to build a head of steam in resentment at the memory of a little exchange with Mr Gui who was concerned at my abdication of Letrozole which he weirdly claimed had been responsible for getting rid of the tumours.
“I distinctly remember you saying that it could not have done the trick.” I protested.
“What else could it have been?” he asked in his reasonable way.
“All the things I was doing to regain my good health.”
“That might have played a part.” he conceded.
I said nothing but after my long sleep that was playing on my mind. So here is the question I have come up with,
Why do Medics insist on claiming that it MUST be their treatment that does the trick? This is not my first experience of it and I absolutely KNOW in my case that the work I do to focus on Health and Life is effective – and more effective than anything the Medics have done for me.
It reminds me of what my sister, the nurse, said to me when I was first diagnosed, “Darling, you have to remember that there’s only one difference between doctors and God and that is that God doesn’t think he’s a doctor.