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Why I Do What I Do!

If your life keeps presenting you with problems and setbacks you’ve come to the right place. As Shakespeare observed about 500 years ago, “There’s a force that guides our Destiny rough hew it how we will.”  And the force that guides my destiny had ideas of its own and performed a bit of a U-Turn from where I thought I was going! I thought I was cut out to be a sophisticated and glamorous femme fatale so I certainly didn’t…

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Captain Of My Own Ship (C.O.M.O.S)

In 1992, when I got my first cancer diagnosis I was not at the helm of my life. Things ‘happened’ to me because I was a ‘re-actor’ not an ‘actor’ in my own life. For five years I continued to obediently do what I was told to do by the oncologists while my situation kept deteriorating. In 1998 when I had relapsed less than a year after a Stem Cell Transplant, I discovered that they had already used the legal…

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Forgiveness

In 1998 when my cancer situation had become very serious and I was praying for a miracle Louise L Hay’s book You Can Heal Your Life appeared to me in a bookshop. It changed my life in all the ways that were necessary for my prayer to be answered,”Yes”. A big part of that was Louise’s insistence that Forgiveness was a key part of my recovery and I have been working with it both personally an professionally ever since. Now…

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Miracle of the Butterfly

We all struggle at certain times in our lives and, for me, it helps to recognise that our challenges, and the character-development we experience as we are forced to raise our game in order to overcome them, are very like the life stages of the simpler forms of life on our planet. My butterfly logo is emblematic of both Love and Transformation. Love is suggested by the  wings of rainbow colours and concentric hearts and the Transformation aspect is accounted…

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WOW! Still reeling from the good news…

The News! My annual check up was at the Royal Marsden Hospital in London on Thursday 3rd January. The doctor told me that having been stable for 20 years they considered the risk of relapse to be so minuscule that they have signed me off to my GP’s care. I didn’t see it coming and, oddly enough, after almost 25 years of being yoked to oncologists to tell me how I’m doing, I’m still getting my head around it. Mostly…

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Joan Collins inspired me to choose Fun & Laughter when Chemo took my hair

Sooner or later when someone mentions Chemotherapy one question always comes up… Will I lose my hair? Me and my hair are a bit like the Barry Manilow jingle – I am stuck on Band Aid ‘cos Band Aid’s stuck on me. And I wasn’t just stuck on my hair – I was literally terrified to lose it. Since childhood, my hair was usually the only thing I had going for me – however fat and spotty I got; however…

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Looking For Love In Some Very Dodgy Places Part 1

Several days after Robert moved out I awoke with the sun glowing through the pale apricot curtains. Being alone in the apartment didn’t bother me. With Justin in boarding school and Robert so often away in New York I was accustomed to having all the space to myself. I wasn’t even really sad about the break up. It seemed somehow cleaner and more hygienic to have acknowledged and amputated the toxic, festering gangrenous stump that was all that remained of…

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Looking For Love In Some Very Dodgy Places Part 2

There have been (and I dare say there still will be) periods when my life rockets out of control and improbable and dramatically disastrous things happen to me. I call it ‘Going Soap Opera’. The way I saw it is that there is a deceased Soap Opera writer (I call him Algernon) up there in heaven who ‘has something’ on God. He makes demands with menaces and for some reason God periodically placates him by giving him my life to…

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I was nervous (but not incontinent!) when Simon and I drove to London for the day to get the results of the MRI…

Woo Hoo!  My MRI results were another ‘All clear”!!!     The relief was amazing because, as you may have read, I was in full grip of the Dreads of Check Up Syndrome.  I could think of every reason in the world that it would have come back and very few that supported the positive hypothesis.  I refuse to meet trouble halfway so I had resolutely refused to entertain those thoughts and had occupied my days with happy and satisfying…

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Check Up Syndrome

It’s 2.42 a.m. I semi-rouse myself to go to the loo and when I return to bed I lie on the right hand side and there it is! The pain in my left breast stronger and deeper than ever! It has been getting stronger for a while. I put my hand on the breast and breathe trying to soothe the pain and the panic. “Calm. Love. Heal” I repeat like a mantra as the stabbing sensations continue at an alarmingly…

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Amanda & Nighties

My darling friend, Amanda, was bright, beautiful and quirky and whatever was going on in our lives our conversations always bubbled with laughter. Once, after I had been on the phone with her downstairs, I walked upstairs to where my husband was. “Were you talking to Amanda?” he asked. “Yes. How did you know?” “Oh, you always laugh a lot when you talk to her.” One thing we agreed on was exercise-for-the-sake-of-exercise; we hated it. So we started a group…

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